LONG TIME

It's been fo-eva since we updated!

My thoughts right now: I am having an awesome time at home with my little diva and sprout... I am seriously grieving being away from them starting in the fall... only a few weeks left and I am savoring each minute.

I have filled up the days with them shopping, going to see Eric at work, playing, running and dancing... I know I will never ever ever be sorry I was with them their first few years of life, knowing them so well and soaking up their time being little. I can easily say that no matter how much we would have to live on very little, I would have still wanted to say I was home with my girls for their beginning. Now that they are getting a bit older, I am struggling with thinking of working... I am not sure I won't make the decision that they need mommy more than money (DUH) and that I should stay home. That would mean less stuff but I shouldn't care about stuff... the most important thing is that they know I am here for them and JESUS loves them :) I do keep telling myself I would have summers off so I could be with them then... oh these grown-up decisions...

They are growing SO quickly and there is never a dull moment. I can't believe all they are learning everyday- every time they talk it seems I am saying "how did you learn that?" One of our favorite things to do is curl up on the couch with our popcorn and watch a movie they like- Monsters Inc, Finding Nemo, or The Little Mermaid lately. Bella is our diva, wearing heels and dresses 24/7. Literally when she wakes up she looks for a dress and heels. It's very natural how she runs, jumps and plays while wearing a huge dress with at least 2" heels on.

Tot is the rough and tumble one who never seems to get hurt- she takes a hit and gets right back up. She also would rather her flip flops any day. She is soft-hearted but stubborn. She goes to her bed herself, pulls up her blanket and asks for "dark". Sister however needs to be read to, help tucking in, head rubbed and a story. Bella cries thinking Daddy is angry with her. Tot laughs when she thinks we are annoyed or says "no" and crosses her arms. To say they are opposites is not strong enough. What they have in common is that they love one another endlessly- we already see the strong bond they have that I pray helps them overcome much- with each other they know they always have a best friend. They have their own language and way of playing.

I need to get busy cleaning and preparing for the BBQ we are having with the neighbors Friday night... lots of chores to do!

Today is an extremely special day. Today is Jamie and my 5 year anniversary! She has been such a gift to me. A truly, tremendous example of grace and love. I remember standing in front of her that day, at the altar, saying:

I Eric, take you Jamie, to be my lawfully wedded wife,…

I was so (and am still) excited to think about spending a lifetime together with this woman. I couldn’t believe that this loving, gracious, beautiful creature of God would, a few moments later, be saying these same words back to me. That she saw me and all my faults and still decided to marry a man like me.

Flash back to an InterVarsity dance in college I saw this beautiful girl and nervously spoke to her thinking that I may never see her again but hoping I would…

… to have and to hold from this day forward,…

I remember having lunch with her, telling her that I didn’t want to play games with her heart and that I was open to God’s leading into marriage if that was what He wanted…

… for better or for worse,…

This woman would go on to stand beside me in some of our most difficult and emotional-wrecking circumstances. And I have experienced the best of times with her and the birth of our two little girls…

…for richer or poorer,…

I think back to a friend’s wedding and introducing her for the first time as, “This is my girlfriend, Jamie…”

…in sickness and in health,…

Asking for her father’s blessing was terrifying. I had just hung up the phone with a friend for a pep talk and extra courage. I spoke to her father about the weather then professed my love for his only daughter expressing that it was my desire to ask this daughter, that he had been raising and responsible for, to marry me… [silence. Long, terrifying, heart-pounding, silence] …He expressed about how if anyone ever hurt his daughter he would hunt them down and destroy them… [I just say “yes sir”] ...Then it came. “…but, if you want my blessing then you have it.” I would spend the next few days jumping and yelling with excitement…

…to love and to cherish;…

I was the most blessed man in the world to be standing there at that altar in a moment that was changing my life forever. God was in the process of taking these two individuals and making them one. I was making a commitment to love and cherish [hold dear, encourage, nurture, protect] her before God…

I remember getting down on one knee, in the December snow, in Central Park, and asking this amazing woman to be my wife. I remember the tears in her eyes. I remember her saying yes. I remember telling our friends…

…from this day forward until death do us part.

I remember thinking, “God, thank You. Your promises are true. Thank You that I ‘waited’ [significant] for this one who is committing her life to me. Thank You that You never fail. Thank You, that You not only bring us together, but You keep us together.” My pledge to my wife was and is from this day forward until death do us part. And to be honest, she makes it easy. I have been blessed to have such a faithful, supportive, loving wife.

I remember our honeymoon in the Riviera Maya. I remember moving into our home together. I remember the hard times, and the great times. I remember bringing our girls home from the hospital. I remember thinking we might financially lose it all. And I remember thinking I can’t believe how much God has blessed us with. I remember it all and it’s just the beginning of a great story that The Author and Perfector is writing. …And for me, well I’m glad He’s written me into it.

Jamie, five years isn’t really that long. But, I love you this day. I look forward to growing old with you; and will love you until that day that death do us part.

A humble husband,

Eric

An Incredible Mother

An Incredible Mother

My Wife, Jamie, is really an incredible and remarkable woman. She amazes me with all that she’s able to do and the kind of person that she is. She spends her days caring for, teaching, and loving on our two beautiful girls. Her nights are spent in class pursuing God’s calling on her to be a teacher and in her free time (I guess an oxymoron) doing projects and homework. Did I mention that she also watches a 3rd girl during the weekdays? Her days are packed changing diapers, cleaning up after children, reading stories, teaching numbers and the alphabet, singing songs, taking the girls outside for nature expeditions, putting them down (sometimes with a struggle) for nap, feeding them lunch, wiping their noses, keeping me notified of their discoveries, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Somehow, this beautiful woman still has love for me. She makes my coffee and sometimes breakfast before I can even get to the kitchen. Besides salvation, she has been God’s greatest gift of grace in my life. How I am blessed to have her as a wife. How blessed our children are to have her as a mother. Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” What favor the Lord has bestowed on me.

A humbled husband,

eric

A Christian Cliche

The trouble with some profound Christian sayings is that over time they run the risk of sounding cliché. When truth becomes cliché, it loses its effectiveness and the hearer tends to flippantly agree before the statement is finished and having no appreciation. People have asked me why I enjoy reading the Early Church Fathers. I believe that much of it has been because of their proximity to the apostles and their passion for Christ. That in the face of persecution Tertullian writes, “the blood of the martyrs is the seed of the Church.” While desiring God to move, they realized a cliché that we tend to agree with before the statement is finished: If God never did another thing for us, then His love for us through the cross would be more than enough reason to worship Him.

If He never answered another prayer… if He never let us feel or sense His presence again… if He didn’t fix the economy… if He chose to remain silent… He is still worthy of Worship. You’ve probably heard it a thousand-plus times, but I would be willing to say that it has not truly sunk in. I know for me personally, I can get too used to this American brand of Have It Your Way Christianity. I can all too often feel that Jesus wishes to give me the things I desire instead of the very desires He wants. American brand of Christianity can leave me all too often feeling that the music wasn’t good enough or the sermon wasn’t on point. And most terrifying of all, the American brand can leave me assuming that God still owes me something. I would venture to say that according to the ideals that many American Churches put on the market today, the apostles would have been considered utter failures. Eleven out of 12, martyred. In their present day, it must have seemed like there were no “open doors” and no red carpets. But, there was (and is) Good News: Jesus has paid it all. There is power in that revelation. It goes beyond the great praise music. It goes beyond the house, car, and stuff. To the Christian: He took all your ugly, offensive, grotesque, perverted, self-obsessed, greedy, sin; and suffered the cross to pay it all. And that, that is enough. The statement could seem tough… or the revelation could lead you into the greatest rest you’ve ever known. When the worship music moves you, it’s a blessing. When His voice reveals something new to you, what a wonderful grace has been shown to you. When you lay down to sleep at night in a warm bed, get up in the morning to go to a paying job in your car that takes you there, wearing clothes that cost more than most of the world’s housing, please let us not think for a second it was owed to you. It’s all extra. And if it so happens that the “extras” are removed, then you know what? His love for us through the cross is more than enough reason to worship Him.

A work in progress,
eric

Escaping...

I needed to escape from doing work on my curriculum unit, so here I am. Plus I knew you were curious about my weekend...
It was nice not to travel and laze around home. Friday I spent a huge amount of time outside with the girls (they seem to not notice the tremendous heat out) and we spruced up our patio. I now have a gorgeous double blooming red rose bush in a planter out back (I wish I had bought another) and the deep red color makes everything come alive back there. We also went and bought a grill (finally!!) yesterday and now it truly looks homey back there! The girls have their own table with umbrella, so we all enjoy it. I can't wait to grill out tomorrow! There just wasn't enough time to get back and set everything up to grill last night.

Speaking of grilling, we went over to the neighbors, Jason and Emily's, along with a group of other neighbor friends to grill hot dogs and hamburgers on Saturday night. It was nice to sit around their pool and keep the kids from falling in :) Their baby, Ethan, is so cute and I get my little baby boy fix by going over and hugging on him every once in awhile. It's no secret that I want a boy, but I cried while putting some of the girls' things in bags that they can't wear anymore. I really think I wouldn't mind one more girl (shhhh)...

I have to tell you our church service was awesome this Sunday! My favorite pastor, Joel Everything-is-Wonderful-and-All-Yours Osteen was trashed again, which always makes me happy. But seriously, the truth spoken there is sooo refreshing.

The worship team is recording a live album this Friday night so everyone in church is supposed to come lend a voice. I am excited about it! The CD's will be given away as a way to reach out to the community.

So now I guess I'll get to work... here's hoping no one gets swine flu.

shelkasa

Thought I would explain the name of our blog since inquiring minds want to know hahaha....
SHELKASA combines all of our middle names...

SHawn, ELlen, KAte, SArah

if we have more kids, the name will be reaaalllly long LOL

Torn...

I have been getting closer and closer to the end of school... and with it comes that big fat scary word "graduation". To most people it would be a happy word. To me, it is sad. It is sad to leave my school friends and the awesome time I have with them when we are in class. There is a union you have with people who are fighting for the same goal you are, going through the same things to get there...But the biggest sadness is leaving my girls all day to work- I am blessed to have a really wonderful family caring for Bella and Tot while I go to school, Miss Kristin and her daughters are watching the girls and Maggie while I do my hours and that has been SUCH a blessing.. they love going there and cry when I pick them up... (yes it hurts my feelings).

Soo all this to say I am torn about working. I need to get out of this house, I know that... right now that is being satisified by me going to school at night and having one day off a week for myself but soon, I will be done- I go over the changes in my head and feel great, and then I feel sick at the thought of turning over the raising of my children to someone else. I know they will still know their parents and listen to them more so than anyone else, blah blah blah. I also know you can't beat having a mom at home for her kids- who ever said they wished their mom would NOT have stayed home? (No one I know)... so, all this to say... I have a battle going on in my heart and brain.

ALSO- there is Bella. Bella just turned 3. She "needs" preschool at 4... should I just keep her with Miss Kristen or put her in another program? Should she be separated from her sister? (They do NOT like being separated at all). Or am I buying into what our messed up society says children should be like- drowning in peer pressure and becoming more like the children around them... LOL maybe I am answering my questions for myself on here.

I have a year more to think on these things... I have Methods in the fall, student teaching in the spring. Then, grad school for eric and i?... that's another post for another time. Ahh motherhood...